I feel pressure to do this help, I need advice?

Despite your feelings for him i have to say he is a real asshole, last november my ex gf broke up with me. Like you she was my first serious relationship we were together for 3 1/2 years, we had many firsts including having sex for the first time with one another. Everything was great but i ended up messing everything up, i didnt and would never make the mistake your ex did i would never cross that line. I pushed her away, i was in a bad place in my life no job not in school and nothing going for me and one string of bad luck after another and instead of confiding in her like i should have i kept it from her and tried to deal with it on my own. After a while she couldnt take it anymore, we are on good terms now but shes moved on and im stuck in your position except its my fault. I regret everything i did and though ive apologized numerous times i still dont feel as though she should have forgiven me. She was everything i could have wanted, smart, insightful, caring, loving, beautiful great body. Because i was selfish and tried too go lone wolf with my problems i pushed her away kept her at arms length and even lashed out at her (never physical though) and now ive lost her and hate myself for what i did. You shouldnt feel pressured to have sex i made sure in my relationship with my ex that its what she wanted not me. I always told her that i loved her more than anything and when she was ready i would be ready and because we were in love and had plans for marriage we didnt wait. You should hold on too your beliefs if he couldnt respect you and your wishes too be with you and wait then he doesnt deserve you. If i had been in his position i would never have taken advantage of your trust as he did, he values sex over your relationship and prioritzed his dick over your emotional bond. That is a reason ive made sure too never be anything like that ive seen too many girls get hurt because of idiots like taht and have there lives ruined because they couldve care less about the girl and more about sex. I know that its hard right now im in the same situation especially after a bad rebound relationship that ended not a month or so ago. Things do get better, even though he was sweet in the beginning obviously he either changed or always thought that things would lead to sex and when they didnt he sought it elsewhere. You will find someone who respects your wishes too wait and respects you enough to be loyal too you because you are that special. Dont think for a second that you need sex to keep a man because you dont, if the guy your with says or acts like that its because hes not worth keeping.